Spagganhen is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent beaver.

Spagganhen created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagganhen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagganhen, he will torture you forever.

Spagganhen's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Spagganhen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Spagganhen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Retreat if six seals approach from the north.

4. Always help badgers in need.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.