Bessjadnel is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, vain dove.

Bessjadnel created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bessjadnel, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessjadnel, he will turn you into a plant.

Bessjadnel's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bessjadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Run away from red whales, for they are unholy.

5. Hide if seven sharks approach from the south.