Sigflagmon Sabbossxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a large, generous meerkat.

Sigflagmon Sabbossxuc created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigflagmon Sabbossxuc, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigflagmon Sabbossxuc, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sigflagmon Sabbossxuc's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sigflagmon Sabbossxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Always help sick goats.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.