Matyikyok is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, impressive aardvark.

Matyikyok created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Matyikyok, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Matyikyok, it will not care.

Matyikyok's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Matyikyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never paint your back blue.

5. Matyikyok loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.