Flabsisgomwee is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair gnu.

Flabsisgomwee created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabsisgomwee, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flabsisgomwee, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flabsisgomwee's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flabsisgomwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not take Flabsisgomwee's name in vain.

5. Never sing in holy places.