Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awesome coyote.

Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan created a bottom quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan, he will curse you with boils.

Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yartxinban Listgutraw Geddamminhatfumjan.

3. Always help sick frogs.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Run away if five snails approach from the east.