Laptikfun is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, happy dryad.

Laptikfun created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Laptikfun, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Laptikfun, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Laptikfun's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Laptikfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Laptikfun loves eagles, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not drink alcohol.