Figsadab Afyamnutt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective tortoise.

Figsadab Afyamnutt created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figsadab Afyamnutt, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Figsadab Afyamnutt, it will turn you into a frog.

Figsadab Afyamnutt's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Figsadab Afyamnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Figsadab Afyamnutt's name in vain.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Figsadab Afyamnutt.