Kabgon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever guinea pig.

Kabgon created the Sombrero Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabgon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabgon, she will be very sad.

Kabgon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kabgon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Hide if eight mice approach from the north.