Fasweegum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate beaver.

Fasweegum created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasweegum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fasweegum, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fasweegum's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fasweegum's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. You must love Fasweegum.