Jatvabnart Nellatbest is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, omnipotent salamander.

Jatvabnart Nellatbest created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jatvabnart Nellatbest, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jatvabnart Nellatbest, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jatvabnart Nellatbest's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Jatvabnart Nellatbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of rats.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never laugh near mice.

5. Hide if seven dogs approach from the west.