Lakzodvilmob is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless giraffe.

Lakzodvilmob created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakzodvilmob, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lakzodvilmob, she will boil you in a big pot.

Lakzodvilmob's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Lakzodvilmob's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. Worship no other gods but Lakzodvilmob.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.