Flabbastfig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate shark.

Flabbastfig created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabbastfig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flabbastfig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flabbastfig's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Flabbastfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Do not hurt mites.