Dog is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent monkey.

Dog created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dog, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dog, it will have a low opinion of you.

Dog's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.