Kapbugstan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous goblin.

Kapbugstan created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kapbugstan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kapbugstan, she will refuse to believe in you.

Kapbugstan's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Kapbugstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to geese while wearing turquoise shorts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Worship no other gods but Kapbugstan.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always take life seriously.