Abvoncib is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving deer.

Abvoncib created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abvoncib, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Abvoncib, he will turn you into a puffin.

Abvoncib's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Abvoncib's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Never hurt hamsters.