Fagnartquat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane wren.

Fagnartquat created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Fagnartquat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fagnartquat, he will curse you with boils.

Fagnartquat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fagnartquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fagnartquat on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your feet purple.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Run away if four ducks approach from the north.