Fudbingess is a god.

He takes the form of a small, compassionate clam.

Fudbingess created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudbingess, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fudbingess, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fudbingess' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fudbingess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never feed bread to bats while wearing purple boots.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about fire.