Nurtsithub is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty toad.

Nurtsithub created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsithub, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurtsithub, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nurtsithub's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Nurtsithub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shoes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nurtsithub.

3. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

4. Never paint your face orange.

5. Never sing in holy places.