Bagjennur Xuckhubbus is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, intelligent cow.

Bagjennur Xuckhubbus created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagjennur Xuckhubbus, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagjennur Xuckhubbus, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bagjennur Xuckhubbus' most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bagjennur Xuckhubbus' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Bagjennur Xuckhubbus on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.