Vilfotpan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tiresome goose.

Vilfotpan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilfotpan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vilfotpan, she will come to you in dreams.

Vilfotpan's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Vilfotpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Put Vilfotpan first in all things.

3. Never think ill of sick mites.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Never wear turquoise rings.