Getquamtonk is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish dryad.

Getquamtonk created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getquamtonk, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Getquamtonk, she will send minions to preach to you.

Getquamtonk's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Getquamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.