Yartpinvin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind dog.

Yartpinvin created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartpinvin, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yartpinvin, he will turn you into a dog.

Yartpinvin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Yartpinvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not take Yartpinvin's name in vain.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.