Arpcuttag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering donkey.

Arpcuttag created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Arpcuttag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Arpcuttag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Arpcuttag's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Arpcuttag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Never laugh in the presence of eagles.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.