Looptarpsid is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless raven.

Looptarpsid created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Looptarpsid, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Looptarpsid, he will destroy your home planet.

Looptarpsid's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Looptarpsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the east.

3. Never laugh near porpoises.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.