Tofgunpas is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witless armadillo.

Tofgunpas created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofgunpas, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tofgunpas, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tofgunpas' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tofgunpas' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Tofgunpas loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.