Tadwanyak is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, strong sheep.

Tadwanyak created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadwanyak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tadwanyak, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tadwanyak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tadwanyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands fawn.

2. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about great tits.

5. Pray towards the east.