Dibortban is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, irritating mole.

Dibortban created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dibortban, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibortban, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dibortban's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dibortban's Holy Commandments

1. Dibortban must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away from green birds, for they are unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never think about comets.