Ruttpigkam is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate cat.

Ruttpigkam created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttpigkam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ruttpigkam, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ruttpigkam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ruttpigkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.