Bopjindog is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent penguin.

Bopjindog created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopjindog, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bopjindog, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bopjindog's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bopjindog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bopjindog.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Bopjindog loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think ill of sick manatees.