Yakcissceb is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, omnipotent tortoise.

Yakcissceb created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakcissceb, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yakcissceb, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Yakcissceb's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yakcissceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Hide from red ducks for they are unholy.

5. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.