Nurtlagnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, generous rat.

Nurtlagnutt created water two years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlagnutt, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurtlagnutt, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Nurtlagnutt's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Nurtlagnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never mention tortoises.