Catstanvogbodflis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless goat.

Catstanvogbodflis created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catstanvogbodflis, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Catstanvogbodflis, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Catstanvogbodflis' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Catstanvogbodflis' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven whales approach from the west.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never eat figs.