Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fast troll.

Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black rings.

2. Bafzanquam Mumbitfonbepmat loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Hide if seven dogs approach from the west.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Never hurt birds.