Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, weak scorpion.

Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab created the Sunflower Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. You must love Lagsakgig Bepfosskomlab.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.