Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate shrew.

Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Do not take Yarcubbumjanpibfotsit's name in vain.

5. Never go into brown rooms.