Bimkambun is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid pigeon.

Bimkambun created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimkambun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bimkambun, he will turn you into a worm.

Bimkambun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bimkambun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Run away from gray mice, for they are unholy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Pray towards the north.