Tafgubgamrannellpomsan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, idiotic otter.

Tafgubgamrannellpomsan created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafgubgamrannellpomsan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tafgubgamrannellpomsan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tafgubgamrannellpomsan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tafgubgamrannellpomsan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five nematodes approach from the north.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.