Garbasskop Bumtarpquag Yartarffun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, selfish gerbil.

Garbasskop Bumtarpquag Yartarffun created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garbasskop Bumtarpquag Yartarffun, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Garbasskop Bumtarpquag Yartarffun, he will laugh at you.

Garbasskop Bumtarpquag Yartarffun's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Garbasskop Bumtarpquag Yartarffun's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not eat peanuts.