Zimpadarf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish weasel.

Zimpadarf created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Zimpadarf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zimpadarf, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zimpadarf's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zimpadarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt aardvarks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.