Tifshavmon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, passionate raven.

Tifshavmon created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifshavmon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifshavmon, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tifshavmon's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tifshavmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head violet.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never wear cyan shoes.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never talk about fire.