Taltonkrut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable hydra.

Taltonkrut created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Taltonkrut, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Taltonkrut, she will turn you into a rat.

Taltonkrut's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Taltonkrut's Holy Commandments

1. Taltonkrut must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the south.