Narltipfennurl is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unjust dryad.

Narltipfennurl created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Narltipfennurl, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Narltipfennurl, she will make you grow a tail.

Narltipfennurl's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Narltipfennurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles in need.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about cell theory.