Ortgubkom is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, deceitful slug.

Ortgubkom created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Ortgubkom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortgubkom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Ortgubkom's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ortgubkom's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Always obey Ortgubkom's priests.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.