Mistonquagfarn is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, uncaring wolf.

Mistonquagfarn created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mistonquagfarn, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mistonquagfarn, he will turn you into a duck.

Mistonquagfarn's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Mistonquagfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four bats approach from the east.

2. Never paint your chest indigo.

3. Run away from turquoise pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not covet oxen.