Hapnatvedjangigkemcum is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, intelligent seal.

Hapnatvedjangigkemcum created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapnatvedjangigkemcum, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hapnatvedjangigkemcum, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hapnatvedjangigkemcum's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hapnatvedjangigkemcum's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always help hamsters in need.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Erect four lead sculptures of Hapnatvedjangigkemcum on top of important buildings.