Gebyarlved is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered mongoose.

Gebyarlved created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebyarlved, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebyarlved, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gebyarlved's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gebyarlved's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always look after injured ants.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.