Tonkwantip is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, unfair
raccoon.
Tonkwantip created an atom four years ago.
If you believe in
Tonkwantip, he will laugh at you.
If you do not believe in
Tonkwantip, he will turn you into a frog.
Tonkwantip's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.
Tonkwantip's Holy Commandments1. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.
2. Erect nine gold sculptures of Tonkwantip on top of important buildings.
3. Run away from magenta hamsters, for they are unholy.
4. Do not make images of living things.
5. Always stare at clouds.