Nutvonflag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless lobster.

Nutvonflag created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutvonflag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nutvonflag, he will turn you into a duck.

Nutvonflag's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nutvonflag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Always help turtles.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.