Wablarpdum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, staggering chicken.

Wablarpdum created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wablarpdum, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wablarpdum, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wablarpdum's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Wablarpdum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wablarpdum first in all things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Wablarpdum loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

4. Never laugh in the presence of nematodes.

5. Do not kill goats.